Are you ready to start making your first budget together but not sure where to start? One book that was recommended to us during our premarital counseling, and which was extremely helpful in setting up that first budget, is The Complete Financial Guide for Young Couples, by Larry Burkett.

The book is great at walking through some common sense guidelines about talking through your finances together. It also gives a great guide consisting of general allocation percentages for how much of your paychecks should be going to the various areas of your budget. We didn’t use these percentages exactly but they were a great starting point for our budget. The book also discusses saving strategies, and different things you can be doing differently in your finances in the different stages of your lives.

Another great resource is Crown Financial Ministries, whose purpose is “to teach [Biblical] financial principles and to transform lives.” It also has some great articles, especially some on budgets. Among the titles in their articles are:

- Steps to Making a Budget,
- Budget for Miscellaneous,
- Budget for Entertainment and Recreation,
- The Need for a Spending Plan, and
- Budgeting on a Fluctuating Income.

There are many other great budgeting resources you can easily find out there. Among them are Kiplinger’s resources on a host of personal finance issues and CNN Money’s Money 101 Guide to Making a Budget. Whatever the resources you end up using, it’s a good idea to make this budget earlier than later in your marriage, and researching and working on your budget together can be a great way to get to learn more about your mutual priorities and expectations during the first few weeks of marriage.

In my first post on Getting Started on Your Wedding Planning, I talked a bit about how helpful it is to start your planning with a budget for your wedding. This post will take that a bit deeper and talk about some helpful things to think about when you’re working on that budget.

1) Sources of Money
One of the first things to think about is where exactly is the money for this wedding coming from? For some, this may be a very simple issue; maybe you and your fiance are clearly financing this entire wedding on your own, or maybe your parents have already talked for years about the kind of wedding they want to throw for you so you already have a very good idea where the money is coming from. For others, this might be a very awkward topic to broach. Maybe you don’t know whether or not you have relatives who want to help chip in. Maybe it’s difficult to talk finances with your family. Either way, it’s a good idea to have those conversations now and determine upfront how things will be paid for before you continue with your planning.

This step also generally dictates what your budget is more or less going to be because you and your contributors likely have limited resources.

2) General Allocation Percentages
There are many online resources to help you figure out what percentage of your budget should be spent on each wedding item, such as your reception, catering, photography, etc. Some great resources I found were this wedding budget calculator from Out of the Ordinary, a Special Events Planning team from Rochester, New York, and this fantastic wedding budget worksheet from Real Simple Magazine. Planning sites, such as The Knot also have wedding budget planning resources for those who login via their free account with them.

These resources are great because they give you a rough idea of reasonable allocation percentages for the typical main items in your wedding planning. Even though your actual allocation percentages might (and should) vary based on your priorities and preferences, they give you a great starting point from which to start planning. And this leads us to our next point…

3) Switch it up based on your priorities
So now that we know what a reasonable budget might look like, you’ll probably want to vary the allocation percentages based on your personal preferences for your wedding. If you put a really high premium on your photography and the memories that it will enable you to celebrate years after your wedding, you’ll probably want to allocate more than 10% of your budget for your photography, especially if you’re planning on having a lower budget wedding. On the other hand, if you’re a foodie and want to make sure that all your guests have the most amazing taste experience, you’ll probably spend a much larger portion of your budget on your reception catering, hors d’oeuvres, cocktails, and any all the other great things you’ll serve your guests.

When you’re doing this part of your planning, you’ll also want to get an idea for how much things that you really put a premium on will cost you. It’s hard to say that you’re going to allocate 10% of your budget for something when you have no idea about whether or not that’s a reasonable amount of money in light of the quality of product you have in mind.

4) Some other things to consider in setting your budget
Here are some other helpful questions to consider while you’re planning your budget:

- Time or Money?
We’ve all heard the old adage that money is time and this certainly applies to wedding planning as well. If you have the expertise and have a lot of time (or have friends who have time and expertise), there are countless options for the Do It Yourself bride and wedding planner. Martha Stewart has some fabulous decoration ideas you can do yourself. For instance, she has these gorgeous paper pom-pom instructions, which Chenin Boutwell, an amazing wedding photographer based in Southern California, used here to plan a lovely bridal shower.

Grey Likes Weddings, also based out of Southern California, also has some great DIY Workshops teaching you how to make your own floral arrangements.

The point is this: if you have a lot of time and enjoy working on these details, this is one great way you can save money in your budget. If you don’t have a lot of time, or would be really stressed out by the pressure of having to see all these projects to fruition, you’d probably be better off leaving ample space in your budget for the details that you’ll want to have.

- Are there non-monetary costs involved?
Speaking of stress, this is one big non-monetary cost that can sometimes be easily overlooked. Even for the crafty bride, the pressure of having to see all these separate projects come together can be overwhelming. This is why it can be really helpful to have a wedding planner, or at the very least, a wedding coordinator, who can be your designated time keeper and general go-to person on the day of the wedding so that you don’t find yourself in the position of deciding a lot of last minute decisions and details. Without other things to think about, you’ll be much more able to enjoy and savor your wedding day.

But stress isn’t the only non-monetary cost, and these other costs can appear early in the wedding planning process as well. Wedding planning can be a very emotional process for everyone involved – and sometimes, the decision making process and cause a lot of tension too. Be cognizant of these other costs so you can make a conscious decision about whether or not you want to incur them. Although these non-monetary costs don’t necessarily affect your financial budget, I thought I’d throw them in here anyways as they are very real – and often overlooked.

- Balance having your friends help out with enabling them to enjoy your day.
Maybe you have amazingly talented and helpful friends or relatives who volunteer to help out on your big day in the most generous ways. It’s wonderful if they’re able to help you, and gift you in this way, but keep in mind that you don’t want to keep them too busy otherwise they won’t be able to enjoy much of your day with you.

5) Staying Debt Free
Finally, as we wrap up this post so you can start working on your wedding budget, I want to add that as much as you can, it’s a fabulous idea to stay debt free as you’re planning your wedding. Staying debt free in this process will give you a much better start to managing your finances together as a new family.

So you just got engaged and you’ve contacted all of your closest family and friends to tell them the great news that you’re getting married some time in the near future. Now what do you do? Well, I can’t tell you exactly what you should do next because there’s no one right way to plan things, and steps which will work wonderfully for some people just won’t work (or won’t be applicable) for others. So instead, I’m going to give you a handful of topics that you’ll probably want to address at some point during the planning process. The earlier you address these topics, the smoother your planning will likely go. Hopefully, this post will spark some good conversations for you.

1) Budget
Yes, I know. This doesn’t sound too fun and you’d probably rather be shopping for your dress right now. But the fact is, you’re going to have a really hard time deciding on any of the other details before you figure out exactly how much you have to spend. So how do you set a budget? Well, you’ll want to determine where the money’s going to come from. Are you and your fiance paying for the entire wedding? Or do you have friends and family who want to chip in and help financially? Do you already have savings for your wedding or do you need to spend some time saving up for the big celebration?

Another thing that’s really helpful to think about when thinking about budgets is what kind of wedding you want to have – which leads me to the net topic.

2) What type of wedding do you want?
Do you want a big wedding? Or a small, intimate wedding? Or something in between? Typically, the largest cost driver for a wedding is the number of people you have in attendance at the reception since the reception meal is usually based on an estimated headcount, and an extra 50 meals can make a significant difference when you’re talking about $50, $100, or more per meal.

Some other things to think about: Do you want an ethnic wedding or a destination wedding? Each of these has particular costs associated with them, and your budget will be affected by what events, decorations, or other things you’ll need for the type of wedding you’d like.

3) Guest List
Okay, so I guess I already talked a bit about this topic in #2 but now that you’ve talked about your budget, you can make a guess at the number of people that you can afford to have in attendance. Keep in mind that the number of people you invite is typically not the number of people who end up attending your wedding. I’ve heard that generally speaking, 50% to 70% of your invited guests will rsvp in the affirmative. But that percentage can change dramatically with the type of wedding you’re planning. If you’re planning a small, intimate wedding with only your closest friends and family, your attendance percentage is probably going to be significantly higher than the norm. And if you’re planning a destination wedding but inviting everyone you and your family ever knew, it’s like that your percentage will be lower than normal. So when planning your guest list, think about how likely each person is to attend, and factor that into your decision.

4) Set the Date
So now that you have the guest list – or at least the list of people that you really want to attend your wedding, you can set the date! Well, you can always set the date before but it’s nice to be able to set the date after making sure that all the essential people are going to be able to make it to your wedding. For instance, is your second cousin having a wedding on the same date that you want? Does that mean that a lot of relatives would have to choose between the two weddings? Or is your matron of honor due to give birth shortly after that date you’re thinking about?

It’s also important to note, however, that if you have a long list of people you really want in attendance at your wedding, you’re probably not going to be able to please everyone’s schedule so you’ll have to balance that with how soon you want to get married.

5) Location
Now that you have the guest list, you can book an appropriate location to match your style and budget, and fit all the people you want to have at your wedding! Most locations have a limited number of people they can safely seat or serve, so your intended guest list is really helpful in weeding out potential wedding locations. On the other hand, some really gorgeous locations might be too big for the number of people you want to have so you’ll have to keep that in mind as well.

6) All the other details!
This includes all the other things such as your dress, shoes, wedding coordinator, florist, caterer, musicians, invites, favors, etc. This things that go on this list are endless but hopefully, if you have the other 5 topics figured out, you can have fun deciding on these remaining items because you know how much you can spend and you know what kind of wedding you’re going to have. For instance, you’ll be able to make sure that the colors, flowers, and decor you want look good with your venue.

So that’s it for getting started on your wedding planning! I hope these topics help you set the stage for a great wedding planning process, and facilitate some great conversations! Have fun planning, and congratulations again on your engagement!