Author: Jocelyn Chi (46 Articles)
Jocelyn is the founder and editor of Something Bleu Magazine. She is also a wedding and portrait photographer based out of Houston, TX.
I recently found an interview from Revive Our Hearts Ministries on avoiding the Grass is Greener syndrome in marriage. The interview also had some really excellent insights from a couple who have been married to each other for over a quarter of a century on how they work on their friendship in marriage. Below are a couple of my favorite excerpts from the interview. These answers are in response to the question, “What are some of the things that both of you started doing in your marriage—choosing to do, actions that you took—that began to restore your heart for each other?”
On learning to understand each other…
…the more I understood about my wife and adapted and respected those differences that God put in her as a woman, the less of those brush fire arguments we had that turned into World War III in 90 seconds that begin to push us away. The more of those things we eliminated, the more the intimacy grew, the more the love grew in our relationship.
On offering mercy to each other…
I think we offered each other mercy when we were trying to change and we slipped up. We didn’t beat each other up over that because we both knew we were trying. I kind of describe it as we were two pendulums swinging back and forth missing each other.
On being rooted in the Bible…
But through working and studying God’s Word, and putting God’s principles into our marriage, eventually we were like two pendulums swinging together. But it took a period of time and hard work and commitment.
On being patient about change…
It took actually years because a lot of the habits that we had established were very difficult to break. But as we saw each other changing, then it gave us courage also to take that step out. Before we were just waiting for the other person to make a mistake so we could point it out.
On making a love list for each other…
We decided after learning this through one of the resources that we were going to make a list of five specific, very specific things that she could do to make me feel loved. And she was going to make a list of very specific things that made her feel loved. We switched lists, and I would carry that in my wallet.
Check out the interview in its entirety at the Revive Our Hearts Ministries site over here.
